This is going to be a hard one to write. It’s a post I’ve been thinking about for a long time, but writing it means it’s more reality than I want to admit.
We all have moments of, “Oh shit, is this my life? How did I get here?” It’s natural. It’s normal. In that moment, we start to think of ways to change our situation. Always improving upon the present and forcing life to not stay stagnant for too long. But what about the things that are out of your control? That’s where it gets really difficult—coming to terms with reality even when you’ve compartmentalized it for so long that it only rears its ugly head when you have too much time to think.
That’s where I am.
It’s no secret that I miss having a partner in life.
It’s no secret that I’m 31 and want kids.
It’s no secret that I was in ten years solid of relationships with people that I cared about deeply.
But now here I am, single. No kids. Renting an apartment. Dating for the first time. It’s brutal, you know? Yeah, I’m happy with the person I’ve become. I’m rad. I’m smart. I don’t care what people think about me. I genuinely want others to be happy and try my best to do good in the world. I’m working on being as successful as possible. But without someone to share all that with, it just feels sort of empty.
I’m never closing myself off to the possibility of finding someone and having kids. I’m just hitting the point where I need to start addressing the fact that maybe this life is enough. A life filled with friends, kids of friends, niece/nephew, work pals, fun nights out, and quiet nights alone. Rolling solo to events and weddings, politely smiling while others talk about their husbands and children. Everyone is fulfilled differently. Why can’t I learn to be fulfilled in this life? I AM enough.
The idea of being alone and childless is something I will learn to accept if necessary. I’ll slowly begin to figure out how to fill the gaps. I’ll take up new hobbies. Truly learn to love nights alone. Spoil all of my friends’ kids. Laugh like an evil villain when I can go out on a weekend night without finding a babysitter.
But us single adults ask one thing of you: please stop asking us when we’re going to settle down. Stop asking “but what about kids?!” Stop thinking of us as failures if we don’t have a spouse, house, or litter of children. Everyone lives their life differently and we should all respect whatever path someone is on.
Trust me, I’m a control freak so it’s hard to accept that I can only steer my life so much. I have so much control of where I go, but I won’t settle for someone just because I don’t want to be alone. Maybe that person will never come along, and I’m learning to be ok with that. Maybe my life is on a completely different direction that I haven’t even figured out yet. Maybe my purpose is something bigger than what I imagined.
We all have a purpose in life. Find it and stop trying to control it.
Sam Siman
Sam works in advertising/marketing by day and moonlights with startup consulting, dating profile overhauls, and event planning. She lives in Columbus with her two dogs and spends her free time writing, drinking coffee and local beers, getting zen with yoga, catching a good concert, and laughing with friends. She doesn't give a shit if you're offended by lewd language, so #dealwithit.
Aw, this was a very nice post. In idea I wish to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and actual effort to make a very good article?however what can I say?I procrastinate alot and under no circumstances appear to get something done.
After study just a few of the weblog posts on your website now, and I actually like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and might be checking again soon. Pls try my web site as well and let me know what you think.
I’m often to running a blog and i really appreciate your content. The article has really peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and maintain checking for new information.
Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thanks Nonetheless I’m experiencing concern with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss downside? Anybody who knows kindly respond. Thnkx
An impressive share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing a bit of analysis on this. And he in actual fact purchased me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the deal with! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I feel strongly about it and love reading extra on this topic. If possible, as you become experience, would you thoughts updating your blog with more particulars? It is highly helpful for me. Large thumb up for this weblog submit!
There are some fascinating time limits in this article but I don抰 know if I see all of them heart to heart. There’s some validity however I’ll take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we would like more! Added to FeedBurner as well
This site is known as a walk-through for all the info you needed about this and didn抰 know who to ask. Glimpse here, and also you抣l undoubtedly uncover it.
WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..extra wait .. ?
You made some respectable factors there. I appeared on the web for the difficulty and found most individuals will go along with with your website.
You made some first rate points there. I regarded on the internet for the difficulty and found most people will go together with along with your website.
The following time I learn a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to learn, but I really thought youd have one thing attention-grabbing to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can repair when you werent too busy in search of attention.
Your house is valueble for me. Thanks!?
Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!?
After examine a couple of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I really like your means of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website checklist and will be checking again soon. Pls check out my web page as nicely and let me know what you think.
You made some first rate points there. I regarded on the internet for the difficulty and located most people will go along with with your website.
Can I simply say what a aid to seek out someone who really knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know the way to convey an issue to light and make it important. More folks have to learn this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant believe youre no more popular because you undoubtedly have the gift.
I discovered your blog website on google and verify a few of your early posts. Continue to maintain up the very good operate. I just further up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. Searching for ahead to reading more from you later on!?
You must take part in a contest for top-of-the-line blogs on the web. I’ll advocate this web site!
I was very pleased to find this internet-site.I wished to thanks on your time for this excellent read!! I positively having fun with every little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you weblog post.
An fascinating dialogue is price comment. I believe that you must write more on this subject, it may not be a taboo subject but generally persons are not sufficient to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
An attention-grabbing discussion is worth comment. I feel that you should write extra on this subject, it won’t be a taboo subject however usually persons are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
This is one awesome blog post. Will read on…
Wow, great blog article.Really thank you! Will read on…
Really informative post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Thanks a lot for the post. Keep writing.
This is one awesome blog article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
I value the article.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…
Very good post. Awesome.
Really enjoyed this post. Great.
Enjoyed every bit of your article post.Really thank you! Fantastic.
Say, you got a nice post.Much thanks again. Awesome.
Awesome blog. Cool.
Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog.Much thanks again.
Hello! I just wish to give an enormous thumbs up for the nice info you will have here on this post. I can be coming back to your weblog for extra soon.
There is noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made sure nice factors in options also.
Say, you got a nice blog. Really Cool.
you’ve got an amazing blog right here! would you prefer to make some invite posts on my weblog?
I am so grateful for your blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.
I抦 impressed, I have to say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a blog that抯 both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you’ve gotten hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the issue is one thing that not enough people are talking intelligently about. I’m very joyful that I stumbled throughout this in my search for something referring to this.
Hiya! I just wish to give a huge thumbs up for the good info you’ve gotten right here on this post. I will likely be coming back to your blog for more soon.
I抦 impressed, I need to say. Actually not often do I encounter a weblog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the difficulty is something that not sufficient persons are talking intelligently about. I am very comfortable that I stumbled throughout this in my search for something referring to this.
Thanks-a-mundo for the article post.Really looking forward to read more.
Can I just say what a relief to seek out somebody who actually knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know the way to convey a difficulty to gentle and make it important. Extra folks need to read this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant believe youre no more well-liked because you definitely have the gift.
I appreciate you sharing this post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.
You made some first rate factors there. I regarded on the web for the issue and located most individuals will associate with along with your website.
very nice put up, i actually love this website, keep on it
I抦 impressed, I must say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a blog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you will have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the problem is one thing that not sufficient persons are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely happy that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing regarding this.
You need to take part in a contest for among the finest blogs on the web. I’ll recommend this website!
I used to be very pleased to seek out this web-site.I needed to thanks in your time for this wonderful learn!! I positively enjoying every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
Spot on with this write-up, I really assume this web site wants much more consideration. I抣l in all probability be again to read way more, thanks for that info.
Would you be interested in exchanging hyperlinks?
Thank you for your blog.Thanks Again. Will read on…
Good post. I be taught something more challenging on totally different blogs everyday. It is going to always be stimulating to learn content from different writers and apply just a little one thing from their store. I抎 choose to make use of some with the content on my weblog whether or not you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l provide you with a link on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.
I and my buddies came looking at the nice hints found on your web site then before long came up with an awful suspicion I never expressed respect to the website owner for those secrets. Most of the young men are actually as a consequence passionate to study them and have now in truth been tapping into those things. Thanks for turning out to be considerably accommodating as well as for deciding on this form of cool issues millions of individuals are really desirous to know about. Our own honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.
I appreciate you sharing this article.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.
Nice post. I study one thing more challenging on completely different blogs everyday. It is going to always be stimulating to learn content from other writers and follow slightly something from their store. I抎 favor to make use of some with the content material on my weblog whether you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l give you a link on your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog post.Much thanks again. Awesome.
You made some respectable points there. I regarded on the internet for the difficulty and located most people will go together with along with your website.
Thanks-a-mundo for the blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.
I抦 impressed, I must say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a blog that抯 both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you might have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the problem is one thing that not enough individuals are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely happy that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something regarding this.
Enjoyed every bit of your article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
Aw, this was a very nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this moreover ?taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and by no means appear to get something done.
Wow, great article.Much thanks again.
After I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there any method you possibly can take away me from that service? Thanks!
I really like and appreciate your blog post.Thanks Again.
Spot on with this write-up, I actually think this web site needs way more consideration. I抣l most likely be again to read rather more, thanks for that info.
Muchos Gracias for your article.Much thanks again. Keep writing.
This actually answered my downside, thanks!