Everyone likes to make lists of things they’re thankful for in the month of November. I’ve done it. I’ve even cut out little leaves out of construction paper, wrote daily and hung them on the wall. Honestly, I thought about doing it again this year since it’s going to be a completely different holiday season than I’ve had for 8 years.
But, here I am. Sitting on my mattress with no sheets on it. Staring at a dog that is trying to push me around and pick her up onto said bare bed. I have to be at work soon-ish, but a roommate is in the bathroom.
I’m almost 30, single and “living life to the fullest” (with roommates) as they say. Whoever the hell “they” is.
So, I’m going to tell you what I’m thankful for this morning. Part of it goes back to that whole bare mattress thing.
I’m thankful that I got some insane cramps yesterday. But I’m super thankful that those cramps intensified overnight and kept me up hoping that my uterus didn’t fall out of my body onto my new bed, sheets and comforter. Nope. This isn’t what happened to my sheets. All my lady parts are intact. #healthybody
While I was feeling so thankful for the space alien trying to burrow it’s way out of my uterus with Wolverine claws, I was also feeling #blessed that my dogs insisted on keeping me up all night. Licking the air was their way of showing how blessed they felt this November. They even had me take them out to give up a pee sacrifice to mother nature at 1:45am.
But the reason I’m feeling truly grateful this morning is that I got the opportunity to strip the bed and put it in the washer at 6am. I was planning on doing it tomorrow anyway, but I’m very lucky to have dogs that push me to be the best version of me. One of them really put the effort into puking in bed at 6am and the other enjoyed pushing the puke around with his nose. #blessed #thankful #luckygirl #puppylove
Happy fucking November 7th.
Here are the assholes. God has made them insanely cute so I don’t leave them in a box on the side of the road every day.
Cutest B-Holes In America
Sam Siman
Sam works in advertising/marketing by day and moonlights with startup consulting, dating profile overhauls, and event planning. She lives in Columbus with her two dogs and spends her free time writing, drinking coffee and local beers, getting zen with yoga, catching a good concert, and laughing with friends. She doesn't give a shit if you're offended by lewd language, so #dealwithit.